Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Mommy Olympics...

In honour of the Olympic spirit and since I'll never be an Olympian I create the Mommy Olympics. Mommies everywhere are already in training for these events which I'm sure will be hotly contested. Instead of medals Mommy's are given a "time-out" which is 15 minutes of kid free silence! (ahhh bliss) The torch relay concludes in the lighting of the giant febreeze candle that will cover up the fish for dinner or stinky shoe smells of the entire host city.

First up we have the sock sorting marathon, whomever can find and match all 300 pairs of random sized, white socks first wins! (commentator): This is a tight race, these women have been training all afternoon for this...

Later there will be the vacuum relay, the "where's my favorite toy" hunt, followed by the what's that smell sprint. Tomorrow there will be the "OMG the dog's about to hurl" luge as you have to try to move said beast to the hard floor rather than the new, white carpet.

There will be a pairs competition in the dusting dance where mommies bring their children into the competition and try to accomplish something while their kids strive to undo all their hard work. This is a fixed time event so who ever can accomplish the most before the time is up wins because we know that it will never actually be completed. (commentator): It seems that the vancouver mommy who won gold in this event is going to be disqualified in the wake of a kid-doping scandal... thats right folks she bribed them with TV and Candy if they would just let her get stuff done... after kid-gate the sport may never truly recover!

The final event of the 2010 Mommy-olympics will be the shopping-cross. It is a roller derby like event where 4 moms and their kids must complete a course through a grocery store. Mom's get bonus points for getting items that are on their list and lose points for extra items that the kids sneak into their carts. (Commentator): This is a fast course today! Wow look at the move made by the single mom who is late for work... she is definitely the fastest on the course and a favourite for gold. Oh no her 3 year old shoved 5 chocolate bars in her cart at the last moment... will she still have enough of a lead to claim her GOLD??

The medals are all awarded and the closing ceremonies are completed. These local heros will now head back to their home towns and celebrate their victories. What's next you ask? Well like any mommy knows, after a vacation comes laundry, then groceries and vacuuming... no wonder these top athletes perform so well at these games. Their commitment is really admirable!


Other sport ideas:
  • The toy sort
  • The laundry relay
  • for moms of teens:  the caught sneaking in/out of the house biathalon?
Please let me know of any other fun events we could add to future olympiads!


  1. Shannon you are a gifted writer....I never laughed so hard...

  2. Awesome and totally well done Shannon! You should see about getting a column or getting paid to do a blog you are really good!