Sunday, January 9, 2011

The power of snot... wait that should be thought... uh no, snot was right.

I am in the middle of painting my 4 year old son's room.  I know that the most important part of any painting job is the prep work that goes in before.  While washing the walls removing all of the greasy schmears that have accumulated over the past two years and I work my way to the corner of his room where his bed is usually pushed into.  Low and behold I find the snot stronghold.  It appers that my son has decided that rather than get out of bed to get a kleenex it is much easier to wipe the motherlode of crusty nose mining on his wall.  Ewwww.

The petrified snot is extremely difficult to wipe off.  It makes me think that perhaps there is an untapped market here for some new super glue product.  Think about it it would be even an environmentally friendly product!  I mean this stuff does not want to come off the wall.  I have to take a two step process to finally remove the offending snot from the wall.  First I make the area extra wet, then after a few minutes I return to snot central and put some elbow grease into it to finally remove the boogers.   Ah well there goes the super glue theory since it actually came off... perhaps more of a temporary adhesive.  There could be a good market for this product... it would be cheap free to manufacture.  During cold season the whole family would have to go lick door handles or something like that to ensure that we all were sick and to increase production.   I wonder if dogs have snot... after all I would expect the entire family to contribute.

Okay so pretty much all kids pick their noses... I mean its a given, but really why not just wipe it on the bedding so that the washing machine gets to clean it up.  Or wipe it on the sleep of his pajamas... again for the washing machine to clean.  I never thought that I'd have to recommend that to my kid.  Imagine this conversation (which may or may not have happened):

Me:  Okay if you're too lazy/tired/scared to get out of bed at night don't forget to only wipe your nose on your pj's or pillow case!  
Son:  Okay mom I promise I'll try not to wipe it on the wall any more.  (angelically bats eye-lids) I love you Mom.
Me:  I love you too sweet-heart!  Good night.

Yeah...  (snorts loudly with laughter)  that's just not very likely... It would more likely involve some cursing and threats and stern looks (which are giving me wrinkles).

You may think that this blog posting is brought to you by too many paint fumes... however I assure you that I bought the zero voc paint (only the best for my babies).  I attribute this to the wandering mind that comes with those quiet "alone" tasks that kids aren't allowed to be around for.  In case you were wondering I also considered naming this posting:  "Life is Boogerful" or "Snotting Hill" or "Snot in the Name of Love".  (really, the list is endless)

As a closing thought I give you this poem (?) er, childish rhyme that my good friend likes to say:

Don't kiss your mommy when your nose is runny
You might think its funny, but it's snot!

And this one that my Dad always said:

You can pick your nose.
You can pick your friends.
But you can't pick your friend's nose.

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